The Habit That Changes Everything

"People do not decide their futures; they decide their habits, and their habits decide their futures." —F.M. Alexander

What’s the one habit you could install, or quit, that would truly transform your life? If you already know what it is, why haven’t you acted on it? It’s a perplexing question, isn’t it? For most of us, the struggle lies in the resistance to change. We cling to familiar patterns, even at the expense of our dreams, often thanks to our primal brain’s desire to keep us safe and comfortable. This “crocodile brain,” wired for survival, sees change as a threat. The result? We stay stuck in old habits, year after year, paying an enormous price.

As a coach, I see this dynamic all the time. But the good news is, there are ways to break free. Here are some practical strategies and mindset shifts to help you step into a more empowered version of yourself.

You Don’t Have to Feel Like It

One major barrier to forming new habits is the belief that we need to feel motivated. We think we have to want to meditate, eat a salad, or go for a run. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to feel like it—you just have to do it.

Nike nailed it with their slogan: Just Do It. If you can let go of the assumption that action requires motivation, it’s incredibly liberating. Try asking yourself this question:

If I don’t have to feel like doing something in order to do it, what becomes possible?

For me, the answer was: I have the discipline to do what I choose. Once I embraced this truth, I realized I didn’t need to wait for motivation—I could simply act. Very liberating indeed!

Start Small—Ridiculously Small

Another misconception is that change must be hard or big. The reality? Tiny steps can lead to massive results. Start with what feels absurdly small: a 5-minute workout, writing one sentence, or saying “no” to one small thing. Once you’re in motion, momentum takes over.

Remember Newton’s First Law: A body at rest stays at rest, and a body in motion stays in motion. Be the external force that gets you moving.

James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, beautifully illustrates this idea:“If you get 1% better every day for a year, you’ll be 37 times better by the end of the year.” Habits compound over time, just like interest. On any given day, the effects may seem insignificant, but over months and years, the results are extraordinary.

Reframe the Cost of Inaction

Sometimes, the best way to break free from a bad habit is to reframe it. Ask yourself: What am I saying ‘no’ to by continuing this habit?

For instance:

• Are you saying “no” to your health and joy by maintaining a poor diet?

• Are you saying “no” to your dreams by indulging limiting beliefs?

• Are you losing yourself by not setting healthy boundaries?

When you see the real cost of inaction, it becomes easier to make a change.

Envision Your Future Self

Take a moment to journal or reflect on these questions:

• Who do I want to be in five years?

• What advice would my future self give me today?

• What could my life look like in one year if I installed one powerful habit?

Imagine writing for 30 minutes a day. In a year, you could finish a book. Imagine learning a language, dancing Flamenco, or starting a fitness routine. The possibilities are endless—but only if you step out of your comfort zone.

Discipline is Blissipline

What’s your reaction to the word discipline? For some, it feels rigid or constricting, but I see it as a profound act of self-love. As Will Smith puts it, “Self-discipline is the highest form of self-love”. When we show up for ourselves—when we honor our goals, dreams, and values—we create a life we truly love. Perhaps we should call it “blissipline” instead of discipline, because it’s a gift we give to ourselves.

Final Thoughts

Change isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Start small, take action even when you don’t feel like it, and remember that every tiny step compounds into a brighter future. Life is waiting for you, don’t let your comfort zone hold you back.

What habit will you choose to install or quit today?